Summer

Well I've graduated, and celebrated all weekend. Gained five lbs -- thank you alcohol an moms cooking. But with those five pounds of disgusting came my period. Lordy. But it's necessary. So... Now that it's summer and a new chapter of my life, and I have time , I'm going to start taking care of myself and my bank account.

Lazy daze

Almost all my managers have gone home, but I'm hourly, so I'm sitting here pretending to be busy in my little cove 3.
I feel funny:
I feel in love with my life, I'm little and lookin good in clothes. I'm in love with my job and my lack of school/front desk. I'm loved by a handsome intelligent kind funny man. I have great people in my life... The toxic ones are no longer around (finally). And the annoying, gnatt-like, ones are minimal and therefore more pleasant. I bought my car and it's beautiful, I'm spending wisely-ish, and i still have a fantastic wardrobe. And yet..I feel restless..

I need to go home, without mas, and take care of myself.i haven't been home in like 4 days or so.

Hohum.

I do love, though, that people keep tellin me how happy I look. That I'm glowing :)

List :)

1. Making salads for work
2. Making French press coffee in the morning
3. One glass of red wine/champagne tops
4. Running and p90x
5. Go to the obgyn and find out what happened 2 months ago
6. Spend time in the sun
7. New car = clean car!! Get it freakin washed
8. Be proud of who I am; love myself
9. No more tanning bed :)
10. Budget!!
11. Cookie jars for spending
12. Finish cleaning my damn room
Tattoo :) (translation one more time)
13. Paint nails
14. No more sugar!!!!!!!!!!
15. Take care of mason <3

Oblivious

Im so blessed, but sometimes j take mas for granted. He doesn't vocalize all the girls who hit on him, so I've sort of been oblivious. But the world doesn't revolve around me. He's so amazing and wonderful an kind and treats me like a princess, and from this point on I won't take him for granite. He's sexy and kind and amazing and incredible in bed and I'm so freaking lucky to have him want to be in my bed every night. So lucky he lets me be weird, and so lucky he puts up with me, and so lucky he wants to make me happy. I couldn't ask for more. And really, even though I'm grateful for all my friends and family, it's mason who completes me.

Realizing that other girls want him is a blessing in disguise. I feel simultaneously sick to my stomach, but more importantly, it makes me appreciate him all the more. He was mine when I came back for him, and that prolly won't ever happen again. As much as I hate this feeling, he deserves someone who appreciates him and recognizes him for how amazing he is.. And now I really truly am.

Wowza

When I was in high school I was obsessed with these books written by the same author as gossip girl. About these girls in boarding school. My favorite was Callie Vernon.. And Omgosh I've become her, in a loose way.
I'm can be a total bitch and yet somehow I have fiends and loved ones
I'm trying on growing as a person
I kill myself in school
Super responsible and hardworking and super snobby as a result
Somehow a wonderful boy loves me
I'm good at heart
Fight with my best friend in awful was
Way too many clothes and little respect for them
Growing growing growing

The thing is... She was always my favorite. So I'm kind of okay with this/ I might as well own it. Be myself. Be kinder tho :)

Lately

"You leave home, you move on, and you do the best you can. I got lost in this ole world and forgot... Who I am. "
Miranda lambert

"Pack the good and leave the rest. And drive until I find the missing piece" ml

"dear girl please remember what your knees are for"Dixie chicks

Final finals week

Tomorrow is the end to my 4 hardest classes. Ive decided I hate my hair... Which is stupid because I don't ever really give a rats ass about my hair. I've also decided I'm fat, which is also stupid because, while I may not be toned right now, my clothes fit well. I'm hating on my new amazing shoes an my favorite blouse, because I'm insecure in this new role as a professional. My car is filled with shy that I don't have time to deal with... Not to mention my room is filled with shit. Not to mention I have to empty out my bank account and buy a new car. And I really wana yell at the coffeebean girl that this is the worst iced coffee ever, and i really don't wana bitch at mason tonight.

I need to chill the fuck out. I need to just get through tomorrow. It'll be ok, and then I can do everything in my head:
1. Clean out my closet. This means getting rid of things.
2. Clean out my car. This means getting rid of thins, as well.
3. My hair is in the process of something.. I just havnt decided with yet. I'm thinking jenn Anniston.
4. I need to figure out who the heck I am. Like... Everyone else aside.. How do I dress when I go into the office?
5. Can't wait to decorate my desk
6. Get a mani/pedi
7. Handle my graduation announcements.
8. Ok my head feels less full

Time to buy flash cards

Ducks Ina row

So much studying. 3 finals and a project on Tuesday. Thank gosh I get to get them over with, leaving my easiest on Thursday.
Listening to.. Uh early 2000 hs genre r&b music? Filled with smooth, confident, powerful young women tho. I love it. Especially when they refer to their love life, and even if their not in control of their love life, they're in control of themselves.
I think the proper word is poised.
Anyways... Back to the books.

How the heck

I was so happy, as soon as I get to fd, to ally and Andy, to rude tones and annoyed guests, it's like wtf. Now I feel like shit. I hate front desk. Im ready to be rid of this part of my life. Moms right, I need to be kind to everyone, but I really don't need to entertain year people more than necessary. And I miss mason.

Salon 365

Sitting under the hair dryer, lightening my dark auburn to sun-kissed. Who knows what will come from this. As in, I have no idea what my hair will look like dry, or how blonde I'm planning on going the summer.

Things in my head?
1. Studying. I have good grades so far, I just need to keep them up and end this year..my college career... On a good hard note.
2. I'm anxious to put my desk together at work.
3. Wana sort through my room/closet and finally get rid of everything that's not necessary.
4. Crafting :) sewing those pieces of clothes that aren't quite right. Fixing broken jewlery. Using pendants that have broken chains.
5. I can't wait till my trainer and running again. Ugh I'm hungry for a good hard run.
6. Speaking of hungry, I want to continue cooking and making meals for the week. The caffateria food at work is cellulite waiting to happen.
7. It's time to leave behind the troublesome years. No more whining about daddy issues, or how boys have broken my heart. No more depressions or misguided angry comments. No more raging and posting it all over Facebook. No more hook ups with ransoms. No more messing around when I cud be working hard. No more letting others do, what I can do, because I'm lazy. Time to be an adult