List :)

1. Making salads for work
2. Making French press coffee in the morning
3. One glass of red wine/champagne tops
4. Running and p90x
5. Go to the obgyn and find out what happened 2 months ago
6. Spend time in the sun
7. New car = clean car!! Get it freakin washed
8. Be proud of who I am; love myself
9. No more tanning bed :)
10. Budget!!
11. Cookie jars for spending
12. Finish cleaning my damn room
Tattoo :) (translation one more time)
13. Paint nails
14. No more sugar!!!!!!!!!!
15. Take care of mason <3

Oblivious

Im so blessed, but sometimes j take mas for granted. He doesn't vocalize all the girls who hit on him, so I've sort of been oblivious. But the world doesn't revolve around me. He's so amazing and wonderful an kind and treats me like a princess, and from this point on I won't take him for granite. He's sexy and kind and amazing and incredible in bed and I'm so freaking lucky to have him want to be in my bed every night. So lucky he lets me be weird, and so lucky he puts up with me, and so lucky he wants to make me happy. I couldn't ask for more. And really, even though I'm grateful for all my friends and family, it's mason who completes me.

Realizing that other girls want him is a blessing in disguise. I feel simultaneously sick to my stomach, but more importantly, it makes me appreciate him all the more. He was mine when I came back for him, and that prolly won't ever happen again. As much as I hate this feeling, he deserves someone who appreciates him and recognizes him for how amazing he is.. And now I really truly am.

Wowza

When I was in high school I was obsessed with these books written by the same author as gossip girl. About these girls in boarding school. My favorite was Callie Vernon.. And Omgosh I've become her, in a loose way.
I'm can be a total bitch and yet somehow I have fiends and loved ones
I'm trying on growing as a person
I kill myself in school
Super responsible and hardworking and super snobby as a result
Somehow a wonderful boy loves me
I'm good at heart
Fight with my best friend in awful was
Way too many clothes and little respect for them
Growing growing growing

The thing is... She was always my favorite. So I'm kind of okay with this/ I might as well own it. Be myself. Be kinder tho :)

Lately

"You leave home, you move on, and you do the best you can. I got lost in this ole world and forgot... Who I am. "
Miranda lambert

"Pack the good and leave the rest. And drive until I find the missing piece" ml

"dear girl please remember what your knees are for"Dixie chicks

Final finals week

Tomorrow is the end to my 4 hardest classes. Ive decided I hate my hair... Which is stupid because I don't ever really give a rats ass about my hair. I've also decided I'm fat, which is also stupid because, while I may not be toned right now, my clothes fit well. I'm hating on my new amazing shoes an my favorite blouse, because I'm insecure in this new role as a professional. My car is filled with shy that I don't have time to deal with... Not to mention my room is filled with shit. Not to mention I have to empty out my bank account and buy a new car. And I really wana yell at the coffeebean girl that this is the worst iced coffee ever, and i really don't wana bitch at mason tonight.

I need to chill the fuck out. I need to just get through tomorrow. It'll be ok, and then I can do everything in my head:
1. Clean out my closet. This means getting rid of things.
2. Clean out my car. This means getting rid of thins, as well.
3. My hair is in the process of something.. I just havnt decided with yet. I'm thinking jenn Anniston.
4. I need to figure out who the heck I am. Like... Everyone else aside.. How do I dress when I go into the office?
5. Can't wait to decorate my desk
6. Get a mani/pedi
7. Handle my graduation announcements.
8. Ok my head feels less full

Time to buy flash cards

Ducks Ina row

So much studying. 3 finals and a project on Tuesday. Thank gosh I get to get them over with, leaving my easiest on Thursday.
Listening to.. Uh early 2000 hs genre r&b music? Filled with smooth, confident, powerful young women tho. I love it. Especially when they refer to their love life, and even if their not in control of their love life, they're in control of themselves.
I think the proper word is poised.
Anyways... Back to the books.

How the heck

I was so happy, as soon as I get to fd, to ally and Andy, to rude tones and annoyed guests, it's like wtf. Now I feel like shit. I hate front desk. Im ready to be rid of this part of my life. Moms right, I need to be kind to everyone, but I really don't need to entertain year people more than necessary. And I miss mason.

Salon 365

Sitting under the hair dryer, lightening my dark auburn to sun-kissed. Who knows what will come from this. As in, I have no idea what my hair will look like dry, or how blonde I'm planning on going the summer.

Things in my head?
1. Studying. I have good grades so far, I just need to keep them up and end this year..my college career... On a good hard note.
2. I'm anxious to put my desk together at work.
3. Wana sort through my room/closet and finally get rid of everything that's not necessary.
4. Crafting :) sewing those pieces of clothes that aren't quite right. Fixing broken jewlery. Using pendants that have broken chains.
5. I can't wait till my trainer and running again. Ugh I'm hungry for a good hard run.
6. Speaking of hungry, I want to continue cooking and making meals for the week. The caffateria food at work is cellulite waiting to happen.
7. It's time to leave behind the troublesome years. No more whining about daddy issues, or how boys have broken my heart. No more depressions or misguided angry comments. No more raging and posting it all over Facebook. No more hook ups with ransoms. No more messing around when I cud be working hard. No more letting others do, what I can do, because I'm lazy. Time to be an adult

You is smart, kind, important

Sometimes it takes someone who loves you to ground you and pull your head out of its thunder cloud.
For me, it's a collage of people. My mason, my friends,my family, my coworkers, strangers who become affixed to me, new friends like Brittney who seem to think there's something good in me despite the static of insecurity, old friends like Michelle who just ooze tranquility and love.
I'm becoming someone important and powerful and I'm taking bits and pieces of all my loves with me. Today is my last day of class contributing to my college degree. Next week is finals, and then the following week I graduate and I'm walking with brittney :))
Then I'm 9 to 5 coordinator to db and all the catering managers 5 days a week.
I have one for church , and cooking, and running, and a trainer, and unhinge my lunch to work, and mas and family, and going out and having adventures. And weekend vacations.
I'm going to win over Donna. I'm on the right track, but I'm determined to be the most fantastic coordinator/assistant/right hand man. Organization in everything I do. Everything neat and color coordinated an I have to remember to double check things.
I'm going to go through my things again and get rid of things. And eating right and excercising will allow me to take advantage of the clothes I keep. And I want everything in my room just as organized and tidy as at work. Not to mention a new car and computer to keep tidy.
I'm on the right track, but I can't wait to pull the trigger and have time to follow through completely

Once again..today is new

I love my effin job. Here are my thoughts running through my head, so I an sort them:
1. Sweet, bubbly, quiet- all kinda contradicts
2. I keep thinking about britt telling me "do your thing girl. You're Guna be great."
3. I may not get along with everyone, but I love myself.
4. I plan on leaving stickies on amanda and my mirror. That way I can keep my space, but still be friendly.
5. I need to clean my car
6. I need to sort my motha effin room
7. I want to bring cool things fr my desk
8. I want to continue beig fashionable, put together, and adult looking at work. I need smaller pants than the ones I'm wearing now, but I want to be beat dressed, without pissing Lc off with my blatant trendiness.
9. Love mason
10. Finals. Almost over. I can do it.
11. Can't wait to get my hair dyed.
12. Budgeting needs to start

Above all... Gotta get through the next two weeks.

Doin my thang<3
Love my freakin job <3

(pic of Michelle and I because her old soul brings me peace an tranquility and maturity)