Crisis inspires

It's weird, I lost my best friend. I cried, and now I'm completly over it and feel relaxed. The weight is off my shoulders and it's inspiring me to be better-- aka To e someone other than the girl who talked shit/ felt insecure because of her bestie. And I want to appreciate my loved ones and hav adventures with them. I'm happy. I have so much and lost the one thig bringing me down. I know longer have to care about ally . I can't wait for this Saturday when I get to switch rooms and get rid of her second bed sitting in our room right now. And get rid of her A and her bulletin board. Maybe I'll give them to good will. But no more ppl asking me if we are getting along. No more disapproving looks and bitter comments from ally. No more tension or worry shell come home. No more talking shit on her or caring if she talks on me. No more trying really hard to make it work. And no more being judged because my bet friend is a bitch. And no more letting her bitchiness rub off on me :) and it's finals so I can focus on that. Then after they're over, my life changes.

I guess I just needed someone to tell me in worthless for me I realize I'm not.

Thank you coffeebean horoscope

My realization this morning, that goes hand in hand with Amy's point of having quality friends over quantity: I don't like everyone. I didn't like ally or the way she treated everyone or the way she made me feel like shit all the time. My moms right, we made the situation work. The thing was that I Thot we were both working at it, it's why I told ally to stop being sucha bitch. But the whole time ally had already given up and was talked maaad shit behind my back. I'm shocked, but feel so much relief that it's over. She was decreasing the Italy of my life. And if she chooses to be good friends with only her mom and her bf, then good for her.
And I love amanda, but she drives me up a wall. Her comments about how good looking she is, an smart an Funny she is, make me roll my eyes. I don't want I hurt her feelings, and I hate the idea that her bf and her discuss all the mean comments I say (because I'm completly oblivious) but amanda isn't someone I truly get along with, and that's ok. So I think I need to be nice to her when I'm with her, but also keep my distance.
Because if I stop putting in so much energy to people I don't get along with, I can focus on my friends who I'm in love with. The people I really get alof with and have fun with.
And on that note, I love mas and terra may, but I dont need all of their friends to be my bffs. We are waaaay different from one another and its not personal when we don't think the same things are funny and I need to stop trying so hard. It doesn't take away from mas and my relationship.
Overall, everything is changing right now, and the one thing I need to make sure and do is take care of myself and love myself. And throughout it all, I need to remember that Amy, Vinia, Tay, and my mom and the ones who are there for me... In addition to a handful of others like tami, Conde, Jesee, Stacey, Domo, and amber who really just want to have fun <3