i am so incredibly self-obsessed, but not selfish. my self obsession stems from my insecurities, but to my core, i will give up everything for other people. including people I dont know very well.

Here's what I am grappling with today:
alcohol. how it affects me.. positively and negatively. how can i be 22 and enjoy my youth, while protecting my body?

how it affects my loved ones. how it hurts my step dad and my sister. how can i hate them for drinking and then do the same?

and everytime i drink, all my horrible memories and emotions come back to me. im so so angry with my step father, even though i love him.

i need to stop drinking. i need to stop victimizing myself. i need to grow up.